November 2018

We went to the annual High School Football Banquet.  It was a really nice event at the high school commons and then moved to Tope Auditorium for the awards ceremony.  The coaches did a really nice job honoring the boys.  I hope Carter goes out next year.

We love our cats more each day.  Sometimes Matthew and I stand and watch them for a few minutes with big smiles on our faces and our hearts warm.

Over Thanksgiving break I wanted to get out of the house.  There was an ISU women's basketball game and Grandma was even available.  Can't go to CY Stephens it seems without getting a Cy-Clone or 2:)

One night a week this month was spent at Nevada Middle School gymnasium cheering on the 7th grade girls basketball team.  It has been a great experience!  Lanie has SCL staff for practice and  Miss Dodd helps make sure Lanie gets to practice and is ready for games.  She attends home games only and no practice on Wednesday because of Childserve therapy.  I think it started out a little rough, but as the season progressed, Lanie has built relationships with the girls and there is so much empathy and friendship on that team it is heart-warming.  It is EXACTLY how I always dreamed it would be.  We are SO blessed for the patience and kindness of  the coaches, parents, and teammates.  Lanie comes home VERY tired from practice and goes to bed around 8pm those nights:)  At games Lanie gets to play about the last 2 minutes of every quarter in the B game.  We are absolutely grateful for this opportunity!  I never thought they'd allow her even that amount of time!  There IS goodness in this world!

 I was able to go hiking for Tanya's birthday again this year.  It was a beautiful day and then we went out to eat at The Cafe for a great breakfast and more time together:)  I am SO thankful for these times with friends!
















After a pretty rough Thanksgiving meal at Mom and Dad's, Jeremy came over and we went out to relax.  We all got to enjoy some drinks and play some pool and catch up on each other's lives at the new bar in town; Lincoln Tap. . . and George's.  Matthew had been trying No-Shave November and had made it almost all month.  I think he shaved it ALL away the next day:)

I forget how hard it is sometimes

At first as  I was sitting watching Lanie crawl across the playground by our house, I didn't think anything of it.  She'd get down from the bridge, pull herself up, crawl up the outside and then across over to the curved bar where she'd swing herself out and land on both her feet.  And she did it again and again and again.  Slowly though I realized, she is doing something AMAZING!  Something I'm not sure in her beginning years I ever would have thought she'd be able to do.  She is coordinated, strong, determined, and can climb, jump, and swing.  I'm not sure I ever realized what a beautiful maneuver this play was before.  I am so blessed to have this little one remind me to slow down and appreciate the things we can do with our bodies.  They are beautiful, flexible machines that we get to use.

And then I watched at swimming lessons.  We decided to do privates for the first time for her rather than group lessons because she has most of her skills and is a fish in the water, and now its time for the difficult front crawl with breathing to the side, back crawls, and tread water.  I hired a high school boy who was an acquaintance but he did not know Lanie.  I think its safe to say though, she has quickly won his heart.  He has done an amazing job with her, breaking down every stroke and celebrating her every little success. She loves going to swimming lessons.

As I watched at lessons though, I had one of those moments where I just knew, this is SO hard for her.  Remembering what order all the different steps go in and getting her body to do just what its supposed to do.   I know it will come, I just watch my brave little girl continue trying again and again and get to learn from her to never give up.  I'm the one who has to be patient and wait for her to turn to me like she did on the playground above, and say "Mommy!  I did it!"

Hard to bite my tongue and glad I did

I know this is not the beginning of my journey of becoming a mom of a child with Down Syndrome, but I think if I start small, I'll eventually get it all out.  My goal is to blog the amazing moments in my life that happen because of having a child with a difference, to treasure the times I got to slow down, or go a different path because of DS.  But I also want to reflect on the not so amazing hard times. The times that bring me to tears and break my heart.  The times that humble me to my knees.  And if my writing can help even in the slightest way another parent of a child with DS or to create empathy and caring toward families with DS it would be amazing.  I only hope I can remember so many moments from the last 8 years, because until I read the book Bloom by Kelly Hampton, I wasn't ready to do this.  Thank you Kelly for helping me to see how important it is to get down our stories in writing to share with others.  Your story forever changed me.

Last night was my son's baseball game in another town and of course there is a playground equipment set just far enough from the game that if Lanie goes to the playground my husband or I need to go too and can't see the baseball game.  We do this.  I do it, because its not fair to my daughter that she has Down Syndrome and therefore might wander, get lost, and just doesn't have that come-back-to-find-mom instinct.  Part of that instinct might be just her personality and independence don't get me wrong, but I'm sure part of it is because of her syndrome.  I also want her to be as social as possible.  I truly believe that relationships with others is what is going to make her happiest in life and want to foster this as much as possible.  So Lanie takes off toward the playground from the bleechers again and I follow behind leaving my husband to cheer on Carter.  I try to stay back far enough to give Lanie some space so she can even half-way feel like a regular 8-year-old when I hear words that cut like a knife.  I hear Lanie yelling, "Hey guys wait for me!" to the couple of girls running ahead of her, and then one turns around to look at Lanie and says, "Go find your Mommy."  Lanie stopped.  I could tell she was processing this and was not sure what to do.  But thank goodness she began running again and either didn't understand or didn't care.    Now I know that kids will be kids and this little girl could have said that to ANY other child, not just my baby girl with DS, but I tell ya'....it hurt.  I didn't say anything, and tried really hard to get the snarl off my face as I walked past the girls to get to my daughter who had found another place to play away from them.  I helped Lanie climb the bars and swing on the swing (both she can't do independently yet because of her low muscle tone) and eventually convinced her to come back to sit with her Daddy to watch her brother's game.

You'll never believe what happened later.  This same little girl, with some prompting from her mom, went with Lanie back to the playground.  She lifted Lanie onto the swing, she high-fived her as they ran, and had some genuine-kind word exchanges.  It was a very heart-felt thing to see.

I truly believe children are amazing creatures.  They don't see differences, they see kids.  They respond how they've seen adults respond and so as an adult it is our job to make sure we are positive and uplifting to each other so that we model kindness always.