On Monday, October 16, 2017 Carter, unfortunately had to call me at school while I was at PD to let me know that Gracie had stopped breathing. I rushed home, first calling Mom and Dad and asking them to meet me at the house, and then calling Matthew to see if he could come home too.
It had been a rough couple weeks, but I still thought I had a couple years left with her. It was time. . .her body was tired, and I definitely did NOT want her to suffer or feel pain.
It was awful walking onto the back porch and finding her there, laying, too still. I couldn't go in at first and turned around to cry on the driveway. Mom and Dad got here next, and as always, showed me the way. They petted her and talked to her and told her how much she was loved and would be missed. Then I was able to do the same. Matthew got home soon after and also as always, took care of things. Hugged me, hugged the kids, helped make decisions about what to do next.
Lanie was already gone to school, so we decided to hold off on the final good-bye until she got home and we could be together as a family. I went back to school for the day, Matthew stayed home to prepare the ground. At school, our class read aloud book had been "Because of Winn-Dixie". It's a great story about a little girl who is meeting the challenge of growing up without a mom. She finds her first friend, a stray dog, in the grocery story and from there on out begins to make more friends in her town. At one point in the story she writes down 10 things she knows about her mom so she won't forget them. I thought it'd be fitting to write 10 things I know about Gracie so I never forget her either.
1. Gracie LOVED to run. When she was younger we'd go on more runs together than not. She'd easily keep up for 3-4 miles. It usually took the first 1 to wear her down enough to be good on the leash.
2. Gracie did NOT play fetch. She had no idea what she was supposed to do with a ball, frisbee, or stick. She would just look at you funny thinking, "what the heck are you doing?"if someone threw one for her.
3. Gracie would NOT eat out of a dog food bowl. She preferred to dump her food on the floor and then eat it. It must have tasted better that way.
4. Gracie LOVED to stick her head out the car window. In fact, one time when I was about 6 months pregnant with Carter, she stuck her head so far out the window she fell out! She took off running when she fell out and ran home! When I found her, back on the porch at home, I took her to the vet and she just had some minor scrapes on her body from falling out of the car.
5. Gracie was a master at escaping. Our backyard is fenced in, and even after putting bricks and iron poles to cover any holes or fence beginning to curl up, she still managed to escape over and over again. Last winter she got out and I was afraid she was gone for ever. We searched all night long in the cold, posted on facebook and even contacted the police department. Finally, we found her at the vet's after the police had taken her in the afternoon before as a lost pet. We had to pay money to get her back. . . well worth it!
6. Gracie was about as meek as a dog as you'll ever know. She never barked at other animals or thought she was better than them. We had a really hard time getting her to even let Rascal know that she was the boss. One time, I was cutting out some matted clumps of hair and got too close to her skin. She bled a little, but she never even let me know.
7. Gracie loved to curl up next to Matthew and my feet in bed. In the summer, she'd sleep on the floor under the window in the corner. But it seems like once it started to get cold, she preferred her place on the bed.
8. Gracie's favorite season was fall. She loved to frolic in the leaves in the yard when the kids and I would make piles of leaves to jump in. For the rest of my life, she will be another reason that my favorite season is fall.
9. Gracie showed me just how much hair a dog can shed. In fact I even bought a special "Fur-minator" to help me get the undercoat in the summer time. I'd sit and brush and fill full Fareway plastic bags full of her reddish-brown hair.
10. Gracie knew how to chase away the lonelies. She was the perfect shadow. She'd stay just close enough and curl up in a room when she sensed you'd be there for a while. When I'd go to the bathroom, if I didn't get the door shut all the way, she'd nose it open like she wanted to say, "just wanted to make sure you're in there and okay." I felt loved, every night, when I'd come home to her standing on her hind legs looking out the window on the porch, tail wagging like crazy.
I knew I'd miss her, I just didn't know how much. It's been over a week. . . I called Rascal, Gracie tonight on accident. I still look for her when I get home from work. I still try to put up the gate in our bedroom at night when I go to bed. When I wake up in the morning, I start to go to her corner to wake her up like I used to every day. Hug your animals tight, they are such a special gift in life.
